why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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