That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize