i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
