Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
