OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
