Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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