I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
