I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Less talking, more tequila
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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