it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
