the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize