if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
