If that was your dad, he is hot
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
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