I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
don't judge my taste in strippers
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
