if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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