I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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