I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
