You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
