You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My vagina is officially offended.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
