I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
