Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Randomize