Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
