I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
