fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
