So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
