just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
