It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
