Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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