I don't usually arrange sex via text message
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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