We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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