A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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