So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
