guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
