i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
