There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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