first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
