If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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