i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Randomize
