Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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