You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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