We're like a lot better than the average bears
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
