I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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