sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
