God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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