Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
did i just pee glitter
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
