Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
