we're chasing vodka with high fives
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
