Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
