dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
