we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
