She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Randomize
