C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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