Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
