Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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