Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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