sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
