Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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