i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
