Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
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