he was CRYING into my vagina
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
