if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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