: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
