This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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