He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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