turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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