yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
