Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
