I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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