Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
