i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
