please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
