I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
