Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
There's always time for handjobs
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
