If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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