i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
4 words: hood of his car
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
