fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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