I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
only if we run a train.
done.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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